I'd like to share some things I have learned through this process of God bringing me to this particular decision, with His guiding Spirit. The Lord prepared me for this difficult decision by imparting to me the desire to memorize Psalm 61 (KJV) a week before needing to give my answer and I praise Him for that:
61 Hear
my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer.
2 From the end of the earth will I cry
unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher
than I.
3 For thou hast been a shelter for me,
and a strong tower from the enemy.
4 I will abide in thy tabernacle for
ever: I will trust in the covert of thy wings. Selah.
5 For thou, O God, hast heard my vows:
thou hast given me the heritage of those that fear thy name.
6 Thou wilt prolong the king's life: and
his years as many generations.
7 He shall abide before God for ever: O
prepare mercy and truth, which may preserve him.
8 So will I sing praise unto thy name for
ever, that I may daily perform my vows.
God will present the opportunity before you. He will allow us to process the opportunity, but very quickly He will bring us to a decision. This is where things get tricky. A lot of people will pretend they do not know what to do, but if someone is diligently seeking the Lord in prayer and supplications, He will impart to you what decision to make. 1 Corinthians 14:33 says, "For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints. "
In order to find boldness in stating the decision, you may lay out a pros/cons of making the decision, you may immediately have confirmation of what you should do..or you may ignore and avoid making the decision. This is where I made my error months back. And what I have learned is that God will give you boldness in stating a decision He has led you to. I also have learned that there are consequences to us being disobedient in not making a decision He is prompting us to make, especially if He has made it painstakingly clear.
My disobedience stemmed from fear, and from cost...which ultimately was a friendship lost. But I have faith in the Lord, because He is a restorer of all things.
I want to take a minute to praise and thank the Lord for the Holy Spirit teaching, leading, and guiding when we start to stray off the narrow path. God is such a merciful, patient, Father, and I am thankful how He blesses His children as we stay obedient to His will for our lives.
Throughout this long standing decision process, I was reminded of Rend Collective's song "Counted up the Cost". My favorite lyric that has been ringing in my ear these past few months has been, "...I've counted up the cost, and You, are worth it."
Does that mean Jesus is worth choosing, over a worldly relationship? A job opportunity? A friendship? Yes. Because Jesus is the sweetest friend, relationship, and Master we could ever have. Because God tells us in Hebrews 13:5, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."
I am led to God's Word in Luke 14:28, "...for which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?"--God brought me to this weighing in decision-making this past weekend. And what He taught me through it is to never compromise where you stand, even if it means losing a friendship.
Another thing I have learned is that God can sustain your peace through making a difficult decision. In fact, God gave me a boldness, courageousness, and a peace like none other. But He also allowed me to experience the grief that comes from this person remaining in a particular situation, even though I have removed myself in the partaking. Why? Because in our weakness, He is made strong (2 Corinthians 12:9). I believe I may not have experienced the grief as much as I am now if I had closed the door months ago when He had already shown me what to do. But after repentance of falling short, I choose to pray for God's perfect will to be done in this situation. I am grateful for the grief because if I did not experience the grief in losing this friendship, I may not have desired to pray for this friend anymore.
God is faithful. I have learned through this situation that I will trust in the Lord holding me as He reveals what decision to make unto me. I will trust in Him bringing me peace, comfort, boldness, and courage as He graciously did in this situation. I pray that whoever may read this, you may seek the Lord in making a decision that you are battling.
Love in Christ,
Hannah
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