A Prick in the Heart

This post is written from a testimonial account of God directly working in my life these past few days.

I have been praying for a while now for God to guide and direct my steps daily, because I am striving towards “doing justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with my God” Micah 6:8. Unfortunately, I did not realize the extent to which He would fulfill my prayer; on my part, I repented to my Father, for doubting His greatness and interference in my daily life.

Over the past few months, I have attempted to finish reading a book. I do not intend to share the title or name of the book, mainly because I believe there are some convictions from God that are solely individualistic, based off of our personal struggles, and temptations we battle; what may convict my soul, may not convict someone else.

I just finished an encouraging book called “Evidence Not Seen”, written by Darlene Deibler Rose. My spirit was set on fire, and soared when I read each page; I felt the strong presence of The Lord moving, and I was sad when I came to the last page in the book.

After finishing “Evidence Not Seen”, I thought I would go back to read the other book I have put aside for a few months. Every time I picked the book up to read it, I would lose interest: I now realize that was The Lord protecting me from continuing to read. Ignoring my previous loss of interest towards the book, I decided I would power through reading it; I thought I was experiencing motivational issues towards finishing the book. Since the book was written by a Christian author, I assumed it would be similar to “Evidence Not Seen”; however, as I continued reading, I caught myself growing anxious…and slowly becoming sucked in to the paganistic love the author so longed to hold on to. You see, Satan does not ALWAYS blatantly lead someone into temptation. Satan may simply draw someone into something that states it is Christian, but is everything but the representation of Christ.

Last night, I could not find my book anywhere. I specifically wanted to bring the book home to my parent’s house so I could finish reading it. I asked my brother to help me bring the book inside, because with my dog Teddy and my bags, I needed extra help. I called him later that evening to ask him where he put the book, but he could not remember where he put it. I put a load of laundry in, and heard the load finishing up when a thought occurred to me...“Surely I wouldn’t have thrown the book into the washer…” Sure enough, I opened the washer, to find the book watered down, and chopped into minuscule pieces covering my clothing.

My first reaction was emotions, mainly irritation and aggravation. After I took authority over my emotions and had a clear view on the situation, the first thought I had was, “What if God does not want me reading this book?” BAM. That was the Truth, and I knew it.

God knows my innermost struggles, and I fully believe He took charge of physically destroying that book so I would not continue fixing my eyes on something not of Him, and something that could cause severe, emotional destruction to my soul. I should have listened to Him pricking my heart about continuing to read the book in the first place. But sometimes it takes Him taking measures into His own hands, especially when we pray for Him to do so.

Some may ponder and question that I was “overthinking”, being “paranoid” or “superstitious”. But after time in prayer, I felt God comforting my spirit by silently letting me know He did not want me to expose myself to that book anymore. I remembered my prayer I have been praying these past few months: “Lord, I want You to guide my steps, direct me, and keep me focused on You.” I wholeheartedly believe He heard my prayer, and protected me from whatever the ending of that book would present.

Some may think it is “just a book”. But from experience, that sparks the flame of the justification process where it turns into it “just being a movie”, but eventually impacting different sectors of our lives. Justification is one word that sure stings my bones. But Sin is like that, isn’t it? Sure, I could have gone online, and easily purchased another book after realizing mine had been destroyed. But why would I want to disobey what my Father has blatantly protected me from?

When asking God for something, such as directing our steps, make sure you are ready to surrender to what He will do to protect you. I am thankful that I have such a gracious, loving Father who wants nothing but the best for me.

Leave comments if you would like prayer regarding this topic, or would like to know more about Jesus Christ’s love for YOU.

Lord bless,

Hannah